Operation Appalachian: Update/ and a little PTSD, Depression, ADD, TBI talk

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My unit insignia. Well know and recognized by Rangers from any generation
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Some friends, men, brothers, Rangers I knew, served with, and lost.

Hello everyone! So, I am still in my funding phase of the operation. I have had good amount of support with my gofund me page (found at https://www.gofundme.com/rangerpig) however, I don’t think I am going to be able to get everything on my wish list. It’s a tight timeline right now with the starting date the 24th. I have to fly down the 23rd and be ready to roll the next day. I am going to push funding for another week only because I have nothing from the VA coming in, unemployment coming in, and have almost depleted my funds. Every penny counts at this point. To add to the stress, my girlfriend wants to move around July, which happens to be in the middle of the hike. I have to help her find a place, worry about her packing and moving by her self, and just ughh…so much. That’s life, always piling things up, never giving you a break. It’s ok, I just have to remember I have had a life of moving 100 miles an hour with plenty of practice. Slow and steady, one foot in front of the other, and one breath at a time is how you win.

I doesn’t help that I have TBI and probably ADD on top of everything! :/ It gets frustrating not being able to focus or concentrate on what you need to do. Right now I feel like I should be making a list of everything I need to do..but by the time I finish this post, I don’t know if I will remember to do it, or if I will get distracted and do something else. However, if I stop writing this post and do the list now, I will forget to finish and never post this post. Both scenarios happen often!  It has really proved to be fatal to life! Bills, debts, decisions all get affected by TBI and or ADD. Add on depression, memories, PTSD, and life is pretty much unbearable at times. I tend to blame my self for everything which could be correct or wrong. I don’t know.  Depends on the mood and depends on the day. I know you cant escape responsibility and you have to own up, but, with everything going on, some people say I should cut my self some slack. I cant blame me, but then I can not blame me. I am stuck in this world, the mental rock and a hard place.

This is why I am looking forward to this trip so much! 90% of the distractions are gone. I can focus on my body, mind, and spirit and re-calibrate! Then when I get back, the real adulating stuff starts! I can hit the world with a new vigor! Right now, I need the time out, I feel like a plane stuck in a nose dive. Anyway, I am going to attempt to write a list of what needs to happen! Thanks for letting me vent! Cheers, peace! ~Joey

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